Week 4: Goodbye's Suck

I know, I know... You're in awe of my poetic ability:) But it's true, goodbye's really do suck.

It's hard enough to say goodbye to the other volunteers who I've been living with day after day for a month. True, there were times when I could have thrown several of them out a window because we spent so much time together, but it would have been a 1st level window and I would have aimed for a soft, grassy landing if possible. We went to the acoustic bar one last time to hear those soul sisters sing, but the guitar player's guitar broke and the younger sister's hand was hurt so no violin playing... which meant no hearing Zombie one last time. Speaking of which, I never told you about the younger singing sister!!! She's like Celine Dion on crack with a touch of Johnny Dep from Pirates of the Carribean... which, apparently, is damn sexy according to my female, very hetero, Irish friend! Go figure. And lil' sis has this very interesting perm-it-yourself-esque frizzy hair and potter-esque frames to boot. The first time I saw her, she brought me a chair and I said, "Thank you, Mr." in Vietnamese. Oops. But you know what? She works it.

Maybe I was putting off weepy vibes, cause Meat Pie and Tinh were both really fussy on our last day together. Tinh was a little warm, so I'm worried she was running a slight fever. Meat Pie was very finicky about eating... WHOA. That's huge for her. That's like Meat Pie telling me silently that she doesn't want me to go and that she will miss me and remember me for the rest of her life... oh, wait, that's what I told her:P (FYI - Her name is Le. Yup, Le. That's what I couldn't understand and remember the 10 times I asked... my Vietnamese is AMAZING). And Baby Boy Girl was napping when I came in, so I just took some great pictures of her sleeping and gave her some smooches before heading home to pack. One of my students at Red Cross gave me this look like she would never forgive me for leaving when I said goodbye to her:( It was abslutely heart breaking. She's such an amazing student and I know she will do so well, whether I'm there or not. But it still felt like someone was kicking me in the stomach while I was saying goodbye. Ugh. Saying goodbye to all of them was beyond hard and it still hasn't hit me that I won't see them tomorrow.

It just hit me that this month, or rather 1 month, is nothing in the scheme of things. Thank you everyone for your wonderful words about being with the children in the moment - please don't think that I haven't taken that wisdom to heart! It's more that when I think about planning this trip and how I thought a month was such a long time... it's so funny how I look at it now and feel like 1 month passed in the blink of an eye here. But being here, even though it felt short, will affect me for a long time to come. I feel, and hope to continue to feel, that I will never again take a moment for granted. That I will never again value things monetarily and that I will never again feel the need to pursue needless things. No, my darling Chris, that doesn't mean that I will never shop again:) It means that I will never derive my happiness from it again, though:)

I leave feeling hopeful, excited and deeply sad. I worked every day and basically always felt exhausted. I wore long sleeves and pants in 100 degree weather. I was dinner for mosquitoes, absorbed Deet through every pore, and had nothing to break the heat but fans whose effects were muffled by my mosquito net. Sometimes, during the power and water outages, we didn't even have any fans. I showered an inch from the urinal that did not smell like roses. But I loved every moment of it. This was, by far, the best vacation that I have ever had. I feel refreshed, rejuvenated and ready for the challenges that await me back in the US.

And I am ECSTATIC to see all of you again:)